This 16-year-old guy’s caught in the classic friend dilemma: his best friend’s clinginess is cramping his style.
With a party coming up that he and his sister have been looking forward to, he’s worried that his friend’s social anxiety and need for constant attention will derail their plans.
So, is it wrong to ask her to be a little more independent?
Read on…
I am 16M, and my two best friends are my twin sister, who is 16F (who I’ll call Katie), and our 16F friend (who I’ll call Montannah).
Don’t get me wrong, Montannah’s a sweetheart, but she’s just getting incredibly clingy towards me and Katie.
I’m worried about her.
What’s playing on my mind is a party we’re going to this weekend.
It’s one of our friends’ eighteenth birthdays and Katie and I have both been looking forward to it for weeks.
Sounds like Montannah’s RSVP was less ‘party’ and more ‘three’s company.’
Most of our friends are attending, and we haven’t seen a few of them in a while because they attend different schools.
We were both looking forward to a night of fun and partying with them all.
However, the host of the party messaged Katie last night asking if we were planning to bring Montannah, to which she replied no.
So he went and invited her, and now she’s coming to the party.
Normally, I’d be more than okay with this, except for the fact that Montannah will only know a few people at the party, and she isn’t good with large groups of people.
She said she was not enthused about there being a lot of people there, so Katie kindly asked her how she planned to cope with that.
Nothing says party vibes like bringing someone who’s already planning their escape route before the music starts.
Montannah responded that she could just stick with us two.
I was already planning to hang out with my other friends since I spend much less time with them than I do with her.
I also have very different friendship dynamics with them.
I’m just worried that she’s going to cling to either Katie or me the entire time due to her being socially awkward; which she already does regularly.
I know if she does do that, I’m well in my right to ask her to give me some space while I’m with my other friends.
But at the same time, I’m also afraid of her feeling like I’m abandoning her and getting upset, which has happened before.
Ah yes, the classic party dilemma: do I play social butterfly or emotional support human?
An example of this is last year’s New Year’s Eve celebrations.
Katie and I were planning to hang out with Montannah, just the three of us, but she cancelled a few days before.
So, Katie and I went and made plans with other people.
Then Montannah was suddenly able to come along at the last minute, so she came along with us and the group we’d made plans with.
When the group wanted to hang out at one of our friends’ houses, she stayed behind because she was getting overwhelmed with the whole situation.
Montannah then got quite upset that we weren’t spending time with her, which I understand; I get that she wants to spend time with the two of us.
But I also wish she was able to accept that she is not the only person that we spend time with and that we won’t drop plans with other friends just for her.
Her New Year’s resolution should’ve been learning that friendship isn’t a two-person exclusive club.
I just really want her to be happy, but I also want a social life with other people, which makes me wonderful if I would be a jerk if I expressed how I feel to her.
So, would I be a jerk if I were to tell her that she needs to learn to be less clingy and more independent?
Reddit was quick to support the him, acknowledging that while honesty is important, it’s a fine line between supporting a friend and smothering them with too much responsibility.
This person says it’s all about how they say it.
This person says no one is at fault.
This person says feelings are valid, but has some advice on how to handle the party.
It’s a party, not a therapy session—time to spread those wings!
Still, I don’t see this ending well.
If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.
