Families come in all types, and in many cases, kids will see their step parent as a ‘bonus’ parent, or even as a full parent figure.
Of course, that is not always the case, and the worst thing parents can do is try to force a child to have feelings or emotions that don’t come naturally.
The dad and stepmom in this story are upset because the son will not call her mom, and now they are angry that he called them out in therapy.
Check it out.
My dad, his wife “Eve” and I (17f) are in “family therapy” together.
We started therapy 4 weeks ago and the first week we went to see the therapist individually across the week.
From the second week onward we were in the sessions together.
The first session we did together the therapist did most of the talking to us, and she pointed out some things she wanted us to know and keep in mind as a group.
Last week we started doing more talking and she asked us why we felt we were in therapy.
My dad said it was because Eve had been my stepmom for a very long time and was not acknowledged in an appropriate way.
He felt like we needed to work this out together because it wasn’t fair that she has raised me for so many years and yet she’s discarded as a mother.
Eve is understandably hurt, but she is going about fixing this the wrong way.
Eve said we were in therapy because no matter how hard she tried, I would not accept and embrace her as the motherly figure she has been in our family.
That I broke her heart many times since she met me and now that I’m almost an adult she’s hoping we can turn it around.
My answer was we’re in therapy because my dad and Eve do not listen and cannot accept the fact I have never, will never, claim Eve is my mom or my second mom.
I said they appear to be incapable of accepting the fact I have not changed my mind about her being my second mom, and apparently they were dumb enough to think that I was lying for years about the fact Eve is not my mom.
I said I had always been honest about this and never claimed otherwise.
And that they believed me too young and dumb to know how I felt.
They are surprised he didn’t change his mind.
So now that I was 17 and saying the same thing as always they had panicked and were still being dumb about this and thinking they can pressure me into feeling a different way.
My dad and Eve were mad about what I said.
They told me I did not get to use therapy to insult them.
I pointed out I had not wanted to go to therapy with them in the first place.
Some quick background: They got married when I was 8 and I lost my mom when I was 5.
That’s a sensitive subject with dad because he always blamed her for what happened (she went out with friends and ended up drinking too much which led to her death).
And he (and Eve) think it should have made me more willing to have another mom.
They can’t force him to feel like Eve is his mom.
But I never accepted Eve as my mom.
Not even when she gave me half siblings.
I always said I would not call Eve mom.
I have always said I have one mom.
I said no to their faces when they asked me to say I have two moms.
We ended up in therapy because my aunt died four years ago and my uncle is getting married again.
It sounds like he was trying to help his cousin.
My cousin was upset about and I was talking to him and we talked about the whole two moms thing and I said I only have one and Eve was never my mom to me and his almost stepmom doesn’t have to be to him either.
My dad and Eve heard, were horrified, and insisted on therapy.
AITA?
While this young man could certainly be more tactful, the parents need to learn that you can’t force a relationship no matter how hard you try.
Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say.
They don’t seem like they want to change, but only for the son to change.
Yes, he needs to be respectful at a minimum.
This person says the son gets to decide how close he is to the step-mom.
I wonder if that is the case.
This is a good question.
These parents are actively sabotaging the relationship.
Sometimes you have to accept things just aren’t going to turn out the way you’d like.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.
