Creating a family home is a delicate balance between shared spaces and personal retreats, especially with young kids running around.
When one dad inadvertently turns the kids lose on his wife’s cherished sanctuary, tension finds its way into the last truly private space the mother had left.
Read on for the full scoop.
I (35M) have been married to my wife, Ella (32F), for 10 years. We have two kids (4M and 7F).
About five years ago, our house was finally built.
Ella was the one who actually designed our house.
We have a loft area above our living room that Ella said was going to be a kids’ area.
“Out of sight, out of mind,” she said about the kids’ toys.
Between working on the house and mental health struggles, Ella really values her own space.
Ella also suffers from depression, and a lot of the house projects she hoped would be done by now aren’t.
Personally, I think she’s too hard on herself, and I do help as much as I can, but I also work 60-70 hours a week.
Lately, she’s been feeling like the kids’ junk is cutting too much into her space and sanity.
Ella has been using the loft area as a reading area.
Honestly, I’m not too sure how much she uses it.
I know she reads a bit, but mostly when I see her read, it’s in bed.
Ella has been hard on herself lately because the kids’ toys are scattered everywhere.
So with the best of intentions, her husband tries to solve the problem.
So I decided, while she was out, to have the kids take everything up into the loft area and put all her stuff into her gaming room (we both have our own separate gaming rooms).
The kids LOVE this area, and in the time they’ve been playing up there, I’ve seen no toys downstairs.
But it turns out, this isn’t what Ella wanted at all.
Ella came home and started crying, saying that was her safe haven area away from everyone.
She has been really short with me.
She claims that she goes up there every day, and now she can’t just take it away from the kids.
He can’t really understand where she’s coming from here.
I told her she can make her gaming room into a reading room, but she states the kids go in there, and it’s not the same.
I told her she was overreacting, and this is exactly what she wanted this area for.
So, AITA?
This situation went south quick.
These parents are on a whole ‘nother level compared to this redditor’s experience.
This commenter thinks she should be able to dictate the use of each room. After all, she is the parent.
As with most conflicts, a little communication would have gone a long way here.
He should have understood the two had separate routines, and therefore separate needs.
Despite his best intentions, the disjointed communication undoubtedly deepened a rift between the couple.
What seemed like a practical solution for him turned into an emotional upheaval for her.
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.
