Relationships are all about compromise.
We come into relationships with hobbies and a life, and sometimes we have to adapt this slightly as our lives merge with another person’s.
But what happens when one partner is completely unwilling to change?
That’s exactly what happened in this story, when one woman was concerned about her boyfriend’s addiction to rugby.
Read on to find out how he reacted when she brought it up.
I am 23 and have been with my boyfriend (28) for about two years.
He has played rugby for the entirety of our relationship and started about a year before we met.
Rugby is the third person in our relationship, so I asked him to stop playing.
Was I wrong?
Every Saturday “is rugby day.”
He wakes up, watches a game, plays a game with his team, and then watches another game after.
This is usually followed up by highlight reels on YouTube until he goes to bed.
He has a two hour practice every Tuesday and Thursday.
He coaches a high school team and he assistant coaches a college team.
After every game, practice, scrimmage, etc. he comes home with some sort of injury or is just generally debilitated by pain.
He is always covered in bruises and cuts.
He has been to the hospital for a separated shoulder, a split open eyebrow, and a split open lip that went all of the way through his muscle and fat.
The most recent was he got a bunch of turf beads in his eyelid and was almost blinded (not exaggerating) by it.
Yikes! Let’s find out what happened next.
He will take off work for games and practices, he will cancel dates for games and practices, he will miss important events for games and practices.
My family home caught on fire and we had a fundraiser which he tried to skip for a game.
In the end the game got cancelled, that’s why he showed up.
We were out to my birthday dinner and he asked if we could rush it so that he could make his practice after.
We can’t go out and do anything on a rugby day, we can’t be intimate on a rugby day, he can’t function on a rugby day.
And his excuse is “it’s tough on rugby days.”
Unfortunately, his “Saturday is a rugby day” has turned into “every day is a rugby day”.
Read on to find out how this girlfriend reacted.
He gets stressed out financially because where we live is extremely expensive.
But he has money for new cleats, new studs for his cleats when they break off, tape for his joints for games, and team memorabilia.
Basically, he has money for rugby like an addict has money for his fix.
I want to say I’m glad he has something he enjoys.
I’m glad he coaches and that his students look up to him and that it makes him feel good about himself.
We’ve both met some incredible people through the rugby community.
But the phone calls at 1am that he’s in the hospital due to an injury, getting yelled at because he’s broke, having to cater to him whenever he plays because he’s sore, consoling him when he’s bawling his eyes out because he lost a starting position, and having to eat sleep and breathe rugby because he does… it is too much.
He freaked when I asked him to leave the sport.
He told me that I don’t appreciate the things he cares about, and said that I should be thankful he has rugby or else he would be d**d.
He said that he has nothing else. I feel horrible.
AITA?
Look, having a hobby is one thing, but expecting your partner to change their whole life for your hobby too?
Not okay.
Let’s see what the people of Reddit thought of this.
This person agreed that the guy should make his relationship more of a priority.
While someone else thought that his behavior was enough to be a dealbreaker.
One person problematised his behavior on the pitch, too.
Others saw things from the rugby-player’s side.
But many thought that really, he needed help.
Honestly, it sounds like this guy’s girlfriend doesn’t mean as much to him as rugby does.
She deserves someone who will be there for her in times of need, not someone who shrugs her off to play ball with his friends.
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.
