It’s great when treasured family legacies are passed down to the new generation.
But what happens when that legacy is stained with deep-seated biases?
When one young property owner refused to host a wedding for his cousin he didn’t agree with, he found himself upholding his grandfather’s exclusionary values that divided the family in the first place.
Read on for the full story.
I (27M) am the owner of a property that was formerly my grandpa’s home.
My grandpa was a farmer, and he had this awesome property built when my mom and her sisters were in high school.
This was the family house, and my grandpa also built a giant garage on it, which my cousins have been using as a reception hall for their weddings the last few years.
Over the years, he grew quite close with his grandpa.
When my grandma passed, my grandpa and I started spending more time together, and I worked on the property since I was little.
I am the only grandson he had; all my cousins on my mom’s side are girls.
When he passed, he left the property to his grandson, and he appeared to have a questionable reason for doing so.
In 2018, my grandpa passed away, and I was left the property.
This caused a bunch of drama amongst the family, but I know exactly why my grandpa did it.
My grandpa was not a perfect person.
He was very old-fashioned, hated divorce, and was very traditional.
His beliefs clashed with his daughters.
He wanted to hand his farm down to a son.
He didn’t have any, and none of my aunts married the type of men he liked, so I became the de facto option.
The grandpa tended to disapprove how the women in the family handled their relationships.
My grandpa especially disliked how my aunts handled their relationships because he preached commitment.
That man loved and was loyal to my grandma.
So when another cousin begins planning her wedding, trouble brews.
My cousin (28F) is getting married this fall.
I was at my parents’ house, and my aunt said, “Well, the reception will be at the house.”
I told her nobody has talked to me yet.
She said that since every other cousin had their reception there, it should be a tradition.
The property owner isn’t too keen on hosting the wedding.
I said sure, but they all asked me, and I wanted them there.
Her daughter didn’t ask me, and I don’t support the wedding.
It’s a legit reason. This is my cousin’s second wedding, and I’m not even close with her.
We differ politically, so I have her muted on social media.
I didn’t even know she was engaged.
He thinks the wedding would be an insult to his late-grandfather and would go against his beliefs.
Me and this cousin hardly speak. Also, this is her second marriage.
She cheated on her first husband with this dude, who was also married at the time.
My grandpa would never approve of that or want that on his property.
He also opposes the idea of all the free labor.
Also, I would have to be involved in the setup and cleanup if it’s at the house, and I don’t care to sacrifice my time.
If she wants to rent the property and my time, then she can pay me a premium for the short notice.
But I’m not doing it for free.
His family heavily disagrees with his decision and tries to persuade him otherwise.
I explained this all to my aunt and my cousin.
They both threw a fit and tried having my mom talk to me.
She tried pulling the family card and a guilt trip about my cousin having no money.
I said my cousin has no money because of her divorce.
But he stands his ground.
It’s a sham wedding, and her dad wouldn’t support it, and she knows that.
There was a reason her dad didn’t trust the property to his own kids.
I said all my other cousins have been good people, so I was willing to help.
But this cousin and aunt are rude.
His family tries to punish him in protest.
My mom said I won’t be invited to Christmas most likely then.
I said, “Okay, find another venue while you’re at it” (the house is the hangout spot for Christmas).
My dad is calling me an AH, but I need a fair judgment.
AITA?
It appears his grandfather left behind more than just the land.
What did Reddit think?
This commenter offers a resounding “ESH” rating to this story.
The property owner may pretend to be all high and mighty, but this commenter sees right through it.
The property owner would be wise to investigate where some of his dogmatic beliefs come from.
His family may have their share of flaws, but make no mistake, the property owner isn’t innocent in all of this either.
His grandpa’s farm was once a symbol of family pride, but from the outside looking in, it appears to hide an uncomfortable truth.
What he saw as honoring the past may simply be repeating the same mistakes.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.
