Relationships often test the boundaries of selflessness, and so far, this boyfriend has passed with flying colors.
But after months of renting out a room of his parent’s house and thousands of dollars in bills fronted, he begins to wonder how much is too much.
Read on for the full story.
I started dating my long-time friend about 7 months ago, and while I’ve always had a crush on her and loved her personality, she has a recurring problem.
Her life isn’t exactly the most stable.
She has a hard time finding and keeping a residence for long periods of time.
She has no family responsible enough to turn to, and her friends have either moved out of state or are married with children, so she doesn’t have many places to turn.
Early on, she mentioned her finances were a wreck.
Not long after we started dating, about a week in, she confessed to me that she was behind on her bills — rent, car payment — to the point that she couldn’t provide for herself.
So he took it as his duty to help her get on her feet.
Being a long-time friend and now her boyfriend, I helped her out by giving her $700 so she could right her sails.
That helped until she fell ill and missed a week of work, which caused her to fall behind again on payments.
She suffers from a compromised immune system, so I wasn’t going to hold that against her.
He continues to help, but it’s taking longer than expected for her to find stability.
I gave her another $1,000 to cover expenses so she could have more than enough to make the upcoming payments and still eat.
Then her uncle ruined the relationship between her and her landlord, meaning she only had a month to find a new place to live.
Despite an otherwise desperate situation, she was still quite particular about her accommodations.
She refused to live with a roommate, and after a month, I convinced my parents to let her live with us in my room rent-free.
Unsurprisingly, trouble finds her again.
Not long after she moved in, she quit her job because they were abusive to the point of law-breaking, and she began looking for a new one, which took about a month.
I paid all her costs during this time, which totaled another $600 or so.
Then she needed even more money.
Then she landed a job at a chain coffee shop and needed a new wardrobe for the dress code.
I fronted the bill for that and the makeup, spending about $1,000 in total.
She started the job but was immediately harassed by staff for her short height, with some not even helping her get things from high shelves.
More bad luck coming…
She then fell ill with COVID and missed more than a week of work.
The coffee shop demanded she take a leave of absence for some reason, but we decided it was better for her to look into getting her older job back.
I covered her expenses again, spending another $700 or so, and she went back to her old job.
Finally, he starts to question how sustainable it is for her to continue helping her.
Now, after 4 months and being able to make money, my folks want her to leave, as she has overstayed her welcome.
However, she doesn’t want a roommate and wants to get a house with me — a goal I had been saving up for nearly a year at that point.
For the time being, she has to live somewhere else, and she’s not letting him off easy for it.
Now she is living with a coworker until the end of the month but will be homeless after unless I find and close on a house.
She’s upset that it isn’t happening fast enough for her, but I feel I’ve done a lot for her already.
She needs to square her own rigging and find a place to rent with a roommate until I have enough saved up to buy a house.
AITA?
He’s listened to his heart thus far, but how well has that served him?
Reddit chimes in with their thoughts on the matter.
Things just aren’t adding up for this redditor.
This does NOT sound like a sustainable relationship to this user.
It’s time for the boyfriend to start asking himself some tough questions.
Her stories are too fantastical to believe at this point.
His girlfriend may pass herself off as the victim, but what if there’s more to the story?
From the outside looking in, it appears he’s given her the chance to find her footing, yet she’s treating him like a never-ending safety net.
Even the deepest well of kindness has to come up dry eventually.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.
