In relationships, compromise is key, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to give in to your partner’s every demand.
When one woman decided to buy an apartment solo, her unemployed boyfriend’s surprising reaction turned a milestone into a minefield.
You’ll want to read on for this one.
I (F29) have been with my boyfriend Adam (M27) for 2 and a half years.
He’s the quiet, shy type, and it’s very hard to get him to open up about what bothers him.
For now, I’m the one with an income.
We get along easily, though he can be a bit unreasonable sometimes.
She gives several examples.
For example, he doesn’t cook because he’s worried I won’t like his food, but he still cooks for himself — and the smell is pretty telling that his cooking is good.
Another example is that he doesn’t do most chores, saying he’s worried he might break or damage something.
It’s frustrating, but we’re working on fixing it.
But there’s one issue that stands out from the rest…
Now onto the more complicated issue.
I’d put money aside since 2015 to buy an apartment, and I’m finally able to get it done this year.
When I told him this, he got agitated and said I should wait a little longer until we’re married, but I said no.
He started complaining about how bad he feels about seeing me buy the apartment myself without having him contribute.
I asked what I was supposed to do because it kinda sounded like a “him problem.”
No offense.
Soon the boyfriend gave her two choices, neither good choices, in her opinion.
But he got so worked up and gave me two options:
1. I put his name on the title.
2. I don’t buy the apartment until marriage so it becomes a “shared marital asset.”I said no and that was final, and he should drop it.
He eventually did.
He then chose the worst time to bring everything back up again.
At his family’s house, I was taken aback when he started complaining about the apartment again.
He told me to either put his name on the title or wait until marriage to buy it.
He feels like there’s a “huge power imbalance” here and that he can’t bring himself to accept it.
He also said it makes him feel like he contributes nothing.
Finally, she had enough and gave him an earful.
I snapped and said, “The reason you feel like you contribute nothing is because you literally contribute nothing, and I suggest you fix that by actually finding a job and having a decent income.”
His family looked shocked.
He glanced at me, then got up and walked away.
I waited for him to come back, but had to go home because his mom said he felt too overwhelmed and wanted some space.
Now the mom is mad at her too.
She then basically started shaming me for my “statement” and hinted about financial abuse and control over her son.
He’s not home yet and is demanding another talk about the apartment, probably expecting me to agree to one of his options.
AITA?
There’s definitely some kind of imbalance in this relationship.
What did Reddit think?
This commenter’s first impression of the boyfriend is not a good one.
Another user draws the exact same conclusion.
“Marital assets” are usually something both parties contribute to equally, or at least semi-equally!
This redditor urges the woman to stand strong and to not give into his demands.
His name on the title isn’t going to solve his financial dependence. A paycheck of his own, however…
If he wants to share the rewards, he’ll have to start sharing the work.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.
