A smothering mother is one of those types we’ve all seen in the movies… and probably in real life too.
But in this story, a mother crosses the front line of her son’s boundaries.
Let’s dig deeper…
I (21M) have been deployed for the past 10 months and I will be getting home in 1 week.
My wife and my plan was for her to be the only one to know what date I was coming back, so that when I get leave we can go back and surprise all of our family and friends.
Everyone loves a good surprise.
My wife (21F) visited home a couple weeks ago for a family event, and while she was there she spent a day with my mom and 2 younger sisters (hs age).
My mother is very pushy and hates surprises. So much so that me surprising her by coming home would make her mad at me.
OK, maybe not everyone.
My wife and I knew we would eventually have to tell her because of this, but we were waiting until the last minute because she would have told my sisters if she knew my date.
Well, while my wife was there, my mom pushed and pushed. Telling her that she wouldn’t speak to her, let the girls go places, and she had to know so she could take days off work.
My wife gave her a week range of my leave (a couple weeks after I get back) so that she could request off.
Push came to shove, and the MIL won.
Well, my mom texted me today telling me that she would be here for the welcome home when our plane lands.
I asked if she cleared this with my wife, seeing as she apparently planned to stay with us in our 1 bedroom apartment, and she said no. I asked if the girls knew and were coming, and she said no.
My mom has done a few things that presses buttons between my wife and me, so I lost it on her. Told her I wouldn’t be giving her the date that I fly in, that if I wanted her there I would want my sisters there as well.
Sometimes people do reach a breaking point, even soldiers.
I stopped there until she started complaining that she was a single mom who raised me on her own, and that I should want to see her first.
That’s when I told her I didn’t want her in my house at all when I first get home. I am a married, grown man now, I don’t need my mom, I want to see and spend time with my wife first and foremost.
She pressed further saying “I’ve been here for u since before u were born, she’s been here for 4 years.”
Eventually trash talking my wife, saying she doesn’t even have a real job and doesn’t contribute. My wife is a nanny while she is in school, and she gets paid well, so she absolutely does contribute more than enough.
Does this smother think she can pull an “it’s either her or me?”
This is where I may be the jerk.
I told my mom that I was tired of her badgering, that I wanted to come home to my wife and be alone in our home with our pets.
My wife and I would not want to host her, and we wanted the house to ourselves so that we can have privacy wherever and whenever we please because we haven’t seen each other in so long.
My mom cried.
Crocodile tears or real ones?
She’s sending me long paragraph texts every few hours about how she doesn’t know where her caring son went, about how I need to let my wife go because I use her for her body, about how all I care about is my own pleasure, and I have no care for my family at all.
So Reddit, AITA?
I haven’t responded to the messages my mother is sending, but if I get ideas from the possible comments, I might.
This soldier returning home just wanted some time alone with his wife.
Was he a jerk for insisting on privacy?
Let’s see what the comments think.
This commenter can relate:
This commenter says mom’s gotta be careful or she’s gonna lose her son for good.
Another user says, wife comes first, duh.
Another commenter thinks the guilt trip is harder than the trip overseas.
And finally, another user says, it’s about time.
Maybe he’s not the mama’s boy, but he’ll soldier on.
If you liked that post, check out this post about a woman who tracked down a contractor who tried to vanish without a trace.
