A couple’s tradition, especially one built over the years, is something that can be hard to give up.
But when your spouse’s new friendship clashes with it, things get complicated.
Read on for the story!
My husband (35M) and I (32F) have a very small but meaningful tradition we started the first year we got married.
It’s nothing major, but it’s important to me.
Every November, on the weekend before Thanksgiving, we take a day trip to this lakeside town about an hour away.
We spend the day walking, talking, and picking out a new ornament for our Christmas tree, something that’s meaningful to our year. It’s just one day, but it’s one of those things that makes the holiday season special for us.
What a lovely tradition!
My husband recently became great friends with a guy from his gym. They hit it off quickly, and I think it’s great because my husband doesn’t make new friends easily. He seems like a genuinely nice person and shares a lot of his interests, like hiking and gaming, and I know it’s refreshing for my husband to have someone he clicks with so well.
Here’s the issue: My husband’s friend invited him to go on a weekend trip for the exact same weekend as our tradition. My husband seemed hesitant to bring it up at first, but eventually, he asked if I’d be okay with us rescheduling our tradition to another weekend so he could go on this weekend with his friend.
I was caught off guard, and I told him that it kind of hurt my feelings that he’d even consider moving it. He told me it’s not a big deal for us to just go another weekend, and he’s right in the sense that it doesn’t really affect anything logistically.
Choosing a new friendship over a special tradition you’ve built together? Woof.
But this trip has always felt like “our thing.” It’s not that I don’t want him to have fun or make new friends, but I kind of feel like he’s minimizing something that’s special to us, or at least special to me. When I told him that, he looked surprised and then frustrated, saying I was overreacting.
He ended up agreeing to keep the weekend for our tradition, but I could tell he was disappointed, and I feel guilty for that. Part of me wonders if I’m being stubborn about a little ritual that maybe only I care about as much as I do.
So, AITA for asking him to prioritize our tradition over his new friend?
Most people feel for OP, but still think she could be more flexible.
This person thinks Hubby is not gonna be too happy on the trip this year.
This person thinks there’s a way to make everyone happy.
This person thinks she needs to be a little more flexible.
Guess it’s a “new friends vs. old traditions” showdown… just hope it doesn’t become a yearly battle!
If you liked this post, check out this story about an employee who got revenge on a co-worker who kept grading their work suspiciously low.
