When you marry into a religious family, explaining your own beliefs (or lack thereof) can be tricky.
How can you be sensitive to their beliefs, whilst also encouraging them to respect your own?
In courteous families, religions (or the religious and non-religious) can sit side by side, embracing one another’s traditions with kindness and understanding.
But in other families? Well it might not be quite so simple.
That’s exactly what the woman in this story found out, when her husband and his family started putting more and more pressure on her to come to their church.
Read on to discover why that was more than just a little insensitive to a woman in her situation.
I am 29 and grew up in an incredibly radically over the top Catholic household.
We went to church twice a week always.
When I got Scarlet Fever as a kid, my grandpa refused to let me get medical treatment for days while he tried to cure me by screaming at me at the top of his lungs to remove the devil from me.
I was so terrified of going to hell that if I even forgot to say “thank you” I’d break down crying.
Yikes. Let’s see what happened to this woman as she grew up.
When I was 13, my dad (who had full custody) moved us to another country to get away from our religious family.
From then on we were allowed to remain Catholic if we wanted, but none of us chose to.
We respected religions but never practiced or attended again.
My husband’s family is very Christian and attends church every Sunday.
He goes sometimes, always invites me but never pressured me to go for years.
Read on to find out how this situation changed.
His family is starting to kick back and insist I attend as well, despite knowing why I don’t want to.
They are becoming a little pushy, saying that I have to at least go once and TRY it and that I’d have a good time.
I still refuse.
I’m happy they have their religion but I’m done with it for myself.
My husband thinks I’m being a stubborn and irrational, I think I respect their religion so why can’t my decision also be respected?
AITA?
It is very clear that this woman is being respectful of her husband’s religion, and his family’s choices.
But she’s not ready to embrace his religion herself.
And with the trauma that she suffered at the hands of religion, who could blame her?
Let’s see what Reddit thought of this.
This person pointed out that rather than the woman being disrespectful, it is actually her husband and his family who are doing so.
While others pointed out that, as well as being traumatic, what she faced as a child was not a good representation of the religion it purported to be.
Some people encouraged the woman to talk to her husband.
While others warned that the consequences of visiting their church may be worse than continuing to refuse.
While their religion is, of course, important, this woman’s husband and in-laws should have a love for her that extends beyond whether or not she goes to their church.
After trauma like this she needs compassion and understanding, not more guilt tripping.
If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.
