Everyone moves on from relationships at different speeds.
If the relationship is particularly bad, you may never want to hear from that person again, no matter what.
One Redditor gets out of a really bad relationship after years of dating, but then he contacts her to tell her about his cancer diagnosis. She’s wondering if her reaction was inappropriate.
Let’s see how the story unfolds…
I (27F) had my first relationship right after graduating high school and it lasted for 4 years.
I was a straight-laced shy and [a] super socially awkward kid.
I made friends with a guy in my class who was practically the opposite of me.
[He was] outgoing, liked to party, take lots of risks, and overall wanted to have a good time and didn’t take anything too seriously.
Their relationship was a bad idea.
We dated for 4 years.
We honestly should have never dated.
It was trainwreck of a relationship.
One of my deal breakers was smoking.
She kept believing his lies.
For personal reasons, I didn’t want to deal with it in regards to a SO.
He, however, told me he didn’t smoke, only for me to find out he did.
Now, you probably are wondering why I never just left. You see, that was where the begging, crying, and promising to change part came in.
Which gullible me would give in and say okay to every time.
He kept lying.
He just continued to lie throughout the relationship, and it wasn’t just for smoking, but many other things.
I found out he was telling everyone I was some gold digger, despite me paying for 70% of our dates and things while he crashed in my place.
He was really a bad boyfriend.
He did not respect a “no” in terms of intimacy.
Told me he “almost” cheated on me.
He was never reliable or on time to anything.
Being with him made me into the ugliest version of myself.
The relationship lasted for 4 years.
Anyways, eventually after 4 years, he dumped me. [He] claimed he hated me and was embarrassed to be seen with me.
It is what it is.
I was heartbroken for a bit.
Four years of a fairly manipulative relationship kinda took its toll on me, and I was probably fairly attatched to him.
I had entered my young adulthood with no sense of identity either and never took the chance to explore and develop myself.
She got a message from him on her birthday.
Nine months later he messaged me on my birthday.
All he had to say was “I know there’s nothing to be happy about rn, but happy birthday.”
At that point, something clicked.
She finally stood up for herself.
I was lowkey flourishing during lockdown…so he could speak for himself.
I messaged him to delete my number and proceeded to block him on everything.
[I] figured that bridge was burned [and it was] time to move on. I don’t want to bring baggage into any new friendships/ relationships.
Fast forward five years and he contacts her again.
Five years later, I am happy…pretty content, when out of nowhere, my best friend messages me saying my ex reached out to her.
He claimed he wanted her to give me a letter since he assumed I was still mad at him.
He claimed he wanted to thank me for a lot of things but to also invite me to his funeral, if I would go, because he was dying from Stage 3 cancer.
Her friend was surprised at her reaction.
Well, my response to my friend was, “What’s any of that gotta do with me?”
She was a little surprised.
She said sure he never treated me well, but that what he was going through was awful. Others shared a similar sentiment.
Don’t get me wrong, what he is going through is devestating, but it literally does not impact my life.
She wonders if she should have more empathy.
My circle is small, but I am a ride-or-die for those people in that circle, and he removed himself long ago.
I gave him my email for the letter.
Should I have more empathy or am I a jaded person?
WOW. What a roller coaster this was.
Does Reddit think she’s being too hard on her ex? Let’s read the comments below to find out.
One Redditor noted the difference between the cancer stages.
Another reader said “general empathy” is the “correct course.”
One commenter noted how long it had been since they had a relationship, so why restart now?
And finally, one user mentioned nothing, including empathy, is owed.
She shouldn’t communicate with her ex — even if he’s sick.
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.
