As you grow up, you often grow apart from friends you were close to for years, and it can be fun to catch up at events like weddings.
What would you do if you went to an old friend’s wedding and found that their wife was very abrasive and difficult to be around?
That is what happened to the man in this story, and now he is thinking about disinviting his friends wife from his upcoming wedding.
Check it out.
I (30m) recently attended my friend (29m) Kyle’s wedding.
Kyle and I used to be close friends but we are no longer as close because we simply drifted apart in our 20s.
The wedding was beautiful and a nice reunion of our old friend group.
Sounds like fun.
After the party was over some of the younger folks including the bride and groom went to an after party to keep the fun going.
This was our first chance to get to know our friend’s new wife Sarah (28f) because none of us had met her before.
Our friend group was sitting together having some drinks when Sarah came over to our table and sat down with us to hang out.
Yikes, this sounds uncomfortable.
She proceeded to make a horrible first impression on the entire group for the next 2 hours.
Some concrete examples:
Asking everyone whether they think trans women should be allowed in sports and insisting that they take a side with one word.
Many people were clearly uncomfortable with this, but she was essentially forcing people to answer.
She refused to change the topic until she extracted answers from everyone like it was some kind of game.
She brought up an old friend of the group who we no longer speak to due to some terrible things that he did.
She was very clearly trying to associate us with this guys crimes even though we have all disavowed him, repeatedly bringing him up and needling people about him.
She asked my girlfriend how she could possibly feel comfortable dating someone “associated with a criminal”.
Bringing up Kyle’s ex-girlfriend, who we all knew and liked, and trying to get us to talk bad about her in front of him.
Kyle looked super uncomfortable and tried to change the subject and she once again refused to allow it.
Frankly she seemed to enjoy his discomfort with the topic and seemed even more eager to talk about it when she saw his reaction.
These are the main ones, but there were plenty of other insulting things she said throughout the night.
Why didn’t the friend tell her to stop?
She did a great job of getting everyone at the table to hate her.
I am getting married next year, and they’ve already gotten save the dates.
I’m pretty worried about having this person at my big day though — she will inevitably cause more annoyance and drama among my friend group.
This isn’t going to work.
I want to keep Kyle as a friend, but I don’t know if that’s really possible if I disinvite his wife — that will be equivalent to disinviting him too.
What if I take her off the invite list and tell Kyle why?
WIBTA?
There is really no way he can disinvite the wife without alienating his friend.
Maybe he can talk to him about asking her to tone it down.
Let’s see if the people in the comments have any advice.
This is likely the best approach.
I like this idea, honest and straightforward.
Ouch, this is brutal.
I don’t think they would believe this.
Maybe just disinviting them both is best.
Salving this friendship is almost impossible.
Tricky tricky.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.
