Kids bond with siblings, cousins, friends, and parents differently, and in some cases it is hard to know why.
What would you do if your daughter was very close to her cousin, but not close to her half-brother, which made him upset?
That is what happened to the family in this story, and the dad isn’t sure he handled the situation very well.
Read on to find out what happened…
Background: I (42M) have a son “Jack” (22M) and a daughter “Cassie” (7F) from two different marriages.
I had Jack with my first wife “Penelope” who passed away when Jack was 9.
This hit both of us hard.
It’s a heartbreaking story.
I thought Penelope and I were going to be together forever.
It took me a long time to be ready to date again, which I started doing when Jack was 14.
He wasn’t happy about it.
I met my first girlfriend, my current wife, “Sara” through work.
This is a huge adjustment for Jack.
We dated for a few months before birth control failed and Sara became pregnant.
Because of that, our relationship progressed very fast. She moved in with Jack and I by the time she was four months pregnant.
Jack was understandably very upset, but Sara and I wanted our child to grow up in a two parent household.
Unfortunately, due to lack of space, we also had to move out of the apartment I shared with my late wife.
Jack was put in therapy to help him adjust.
Sara was really understanding.
However, Jack and I did luck out a bit with Sara.
Sara made it a point to have prominent memorabilia of Penelope because of her awful step-mother all but erased Sara’s mother.
After Cassie (my daughter) was born, Jack wanted nothing to do with her, which was understandable, but upsetting.
Cassie has another relative who acts like her big brother.
However, Cassie’s maternal cousin “Will” (18M) adored her from day one, and happily stepped into that brother role.
Frequent hangouts, played with her dolls, etc.
He even has a matching (i think) hello-kitty necklace with her, and uses it as his good luck charm for his sport.
This was the first year both Jack and Will left for college.
Jack and Will had different experiences in high school.
Jack messed around during high school and had crappy grades and no scholarships.
While I would be able to pay, I refused to pay 50k/year+ for him to screw around. So, he went to community college for two years and this year transferred to a good school.
Will was an A student as well as an excellent athlete, and got an almost full ride to a far away school.
Cassie made it very clear who she missed the most.
Thankfully, both boys were able to come home for Thanksgiving.
Jack came home first.
She greeted him without much fanfare, but was still happy he was home.
This was very different from how she greeted Will.
She waited at my SIL’s house for him, made a huge glittery sign, and started bawling her eyes out when she saw him.
My sister-in-law posted the video of them reuniting on Facebook, and Jack saw the video and was very upset at the difference in Cassie’s “welcome home” enthusiasm.
He’s not sure how to handle the situation.
After listening to this for the fifth time, I snapped at him and told him these were the consequences of his actions, i.e. doing nothing to make a bond with his sister for the past seven years.
He got mad and stormed off to his room.
Since then my former in-laws have been ringing my phone off the hook yelling at me and demanding I reprimand my daughter for her lack of enthusiasm at his return.
Cassie doesn’t know why, but she can tell her brother is upset at her and it is affecting her.
Will is mad that Jack is making Cassie upset.
I don’t know what to do.
AITA?
Did this dad handle the situation well? What should he do?
Read on to see what the people in the comments on Reddit have to say.
Definitely not the daughter’s fault.
He missed a great teachable moment.
Yes, this was an opportunity for an adult conversation.
Here is someone who says he talks like Jack is a disappointment.
This person thinks he doesn’t like his son much.
This could have been handled so much better.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.
