Every adult knows lending money to friends and family is a tricky business.
But this 18-year-old is being pressured to “lend” her money to her jobless cousin and made to feel guilty about not wanting to.
Now she is even wondering if she is in the wrong for hesitating.
Let’s analyze the situation.
I (18 year old woman) am in a bit of a predicament.
My cousin (22 year old male) wants to move to another city to finish his last years of college.
He’s been failing his chosen program for a bit now, and he’s convinced that switching locations will help him finally finish his degree.
That does not sound like a good idea.
He’s even talked to his mother about it, but from what I’ve heard, she hasn’t exactly been pleased.
It’s going to cost a lot—around 5 digits in my country’s currency, from his estimation.
New city, far away from where we currently live now, and the everyday basic needs aren’t even counted in said estimation, such as rent, food, electricity, and the likes; it could cost more than 5 digits if we really consider everything.
Our grandmother is asking me to lend him the money, but I just received that amount back from another family member who I had lent it to for personal reasons.
I had agreed to lend the money a year ago and recently, I just received 90% of it.
She just got her money back and she does not want to lend it again.
Now, on the same day, I received this money, my grandmother is asking me if I could lend about 80% of what I got back to my cousin for his education.
This is very inconsiderate of her grandmother.
I’m about to start college myself in a few months, and this money was meant to help me secure my future.
I don’t want to sound selfish, but I’m scared that lending him this money will derail my own plans.
I know my cousin’s situation is difficult, but he has been struggling in his program for quite a bit now.
Besides not wanting to lend her cousin the money, he doesn’t sound very reliable.
Personally, if you ask me, I have no hope for him in this program he’s chosen to take.
Even if he seems so convinced that changing universities and locations will help him complete it if it really seems like this path may not be for him.
He has repeated a year or so in said college program due to not meeting the required units passed to go on to the next year of college.
His chances of actually finishing seem pretty slim, given how much he has been failing to pass.
I’m not sure I want to risk my future for someone who hasn’t been able to get it together yet, no offense.
It makes perfect sense. But her family disagrees.
I want to talk about it with my family once more as we have already talked about this before and try to convince him to switch to something more feasible.
One that will help him finally graduate as it has been one of his greatest concerns.
But still, he has been pretty adamant about finishing this program, even going as far to say; “If I’m not graduating with this program, then better not graduate at all”.
Okay, but that’s his problem.
I don’t want to disappoint my family, but I’m genuinely torn.
If I lend him the money, I might jeopardize my own education and the future I’ve planned for myself.
I feel like I’m being selfish by not helping, but at the same time, I need to think about myself.
I’ve talked to my parents about this, but so far they haven’t given me any answers and keep changing the subject.
AITA?
Nope! It’s her money and she can do what she pleases with it.
Let’s see what Reddit has to say about this situation.
A commenter shares their thoughts.
Someone shares a few wise words.
How To Be An Adult 101.
Another reader chimes in.
I agree.
This person shares some good points to consider.
Nobody should feel obliged to “lend” an irresponsible person their money.
Or anyone, if we’re being honest.
If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.
