Some people get a little too invested in their relationships without realizing they’re neglecting themselves.
In this case, this woman noticed her friend had a pattern of spending a lot of money on whatever hobby her current boyfriend is into, so she told her she should find hobbies of her own instead.
Now she’s wondering if she hurt her friend’s feelings unnecessarily.
Let’s analyze the situation.
My friend is one of those girls who always has a boyfriend, and that boyfriend becomes a central part of her identity.
Last night we were having dinner and she said she needed a new hobby because she didn’t realize gaming could be so expensive.
She dropped $2500 on a gaming rig because the guy she is dating now is into gaming, when before this she didn’t even have Candy Crush on her phone.
She found it “suspicious” that she spent this much on a very new hobby.
So I told her that she should find her own hobbies and interests instead of getting into whatever her current boyfriend is into.
I reminded her that she enrolled in a Brazilian Jiu-Jitstu class when she dated a Brazilian Jiu-Jitstu blackbelt (but she never stepped into a gym again after they broke up).
It’s a pattern.
She also bought tons of baking tools and supplies when she dated a pastry chef (all banished to some faraway corner of her kitchen cabinet as I write this).
She even wanted to buy a cobra when she was seeing a guy who collected them (Thank God the guy told her that she absolutely shouldn’t do it).
Wow. So she has a point… but not everyone agrees.
After dinner one of our other friends told me I shouldn’t have said that to her and she clearly looked hurt.
But, I think that there was nothing wrong with what I said because I just pointed out facts.
I think she needed to hear that to realize how dependent her personality is on her boyfriends and how ridiculous she is acting by copying their interests.
AITA?
I think that, sometimes, the advice that hurts the most ends up being the most helpful.
Let’s see what Reddit has to say.
A reader shares their opinion.
This commenter offers another perspective.
Another reader chimes in.
I agree.
Boyfriends and recreation!
Exactly.
Giving and getting advice can be stressful, but often, both parties are better for it.
Hopefully, this will strengthen their friendship, eventually.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.
