If your fiance is a friendly, outgoing person who knows a lot of people, how big does your wedding have to be?
Do you need to invite all the people he knows and who know him… even if they are not close to each other?
This introverted woman is complaining about her fiance who already has 400+ people on his guest list.
She wants to cut it down, but she’s not sure if that’s the right decision.
What do you think? Read below and weigh in.
I (31F) and my fiance (32M) recently got engaged.
We have started making our guestlist as part of our wedding planning.
My fiancé is a very social guy.
He’s been in the restaurant industry for 10+ years, and has made a lot of friends and business connections.
This woman admits she gets overwhelmed by a big crowd of people.
On the other hand, you have me.
I have a very small but close group of friends.
I get overstimulated easily and have to prepare for big group interactions.
And usually, it can only last a few hours before I need to wander off and recharge a little.
In her list, she had 45-50 people.
We made our first pass at a guestlist.
I have about 45 to 50 people in my list, including mutual friends and their plus ones.
These are the people I can’t see this day happening without.
But her fiance had about 400 people on his list.
He made his list and has close to 400 people in it.
This includes people who he’s met in business and wants to essentially “shake hands and kiss babies” with.
(I forgot to mention he’s opening his own business soon.)
He said he will take another pass at the list, and cut it down so we have 400 in total.
She wants to be supportive, but doesn’t know most of these people.
The thought of this makes me physically ill.
I want to be supportive and invite everyone he views as important to him.
But there is a significant number of people in the list that I have never even met.
Some I haven’t even heard of before this list.
Some of his guests were simply acquaintances he was not very close with.
For context, we have been together for 2.5 years.
I also saw names, and when I asked him who they were, he said, “Well, I was invited to their wedding 3+ years ago.”
Some people, he only exchanges “Happy birthday” with every year and says they “need” to be at the wedding.
Again, I want to be supportive.
But I have a hard time justifying paying for 250+ person on people I have never met and who he only says happy birthday to.
She thinks he’s being childish for inviting some of his guests.
I’ve tried explaining this to him, but I know we are both passionate people.
And sometimes, I have a hard time expressing how things make me feel.
I don’t want to sound like I don’t care about his friendships.
But to me, some of his reasons for inviting people just seem childish or irrelevant.
She wants to cut down the list to 150 to 200 people.
Ideally, I would like a wedding with 150 people, but he wants closer to 500.
I think I could do 250 without having a full panic attack and meltdown.
I don’t want to sound like a diva.
But the thought of being around 200+ people I’ve never met and being the center of attention makes me want to crawl into a corner and hide.
Now, she wonders if she’s being overly dramatic about this.
Last time I brought it up to him, he got really defensive.
He said I was making him feel like I don’t care about the people who are important to him.
I don’t think that’s the case, but AITA for wanting him to cut down from 400 people to 200?
It’s her wedding too. She should definitely have a say in the guest list, and 250 guests sounds like a good compromise.
Let’s find out what other people have to say about this on Reddit.
This user shares their honest opinion.
While this person gives 5 valid points.
Another sensible insight.
It sounds insane to me, says this person.
Finally, a wedding guest speaks up.
A wedding is supposed to be a celebration of both of you—and not just one of you.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.
