Your wedding is a time for love and celebration.
But how would you deal with toxic relatives who are causing a rift in your family relationships?
This woman is torn between inviting her cousin—who wasn’t too friendly and respectful to her and her mom—or not.
She knows that not inviting him could cause even bigger issues in their family.
Read the full story below and share your thoughts.
I am recently engaged.
My dad has a big family.
But on mom’s side, it’s just her, my grandma, my aunt, and one cousin.
This woman wasn’t close to her cousin.
I don’t have the highest opinion of my cousin.
I didn’t notice it growing up due to an age gap, and him not taking much interest in the family.
He shows up to Christmas in time to open his gifts and leave right after.
But in adulthood, I’ve pretty much gathered that he got all of the worst traits from his parents.
Here’s how she describes him:
He’s self absorbed and acts like he’s better than us despite obvious issues with gambling and alcohol.
More importantly, he’s been openly hostile to my mom recently, demeaning her and even threatening her over her conflicts with my aunt.
Her mom and aunt aren’t on good terms.
Mom’s relationship with her sister is shaky at best.
My aunt has always been my grandparents’ favorite child, and so her son was always their favorite grandchild.
I love my aunt, but she consistently creates problems between her and my mom because she knows that no matter who starts it or what it’s over, grandma will take her side.
Every time.
And mom will have to fix it.
Every time.
When her grandfather passed away, her aunt sold all of his things.
Things have only gotten worse since grandpa died.
My aunt has been insufferable.
Grandma moved out of her house but not before my aunt gutted the place for anything of value, sold it, and kept every penny for herself.
Grandma tried to give his truck to my brother, who doesn’t have a vehicle, and there was dispute over that for weeks, until she was allowed to sell that, too.
Her cousin got to have his prized possessions, but she only got a mug.
Everything notably sentimental of my grandpa’s went to my cousin.
The flag he was given as a deceased veteran, all of his medals, and the pocket knife he carried every day of my life.
I was given a mug that I had never seen before.
Her cousin didn’t even come to the funeral.
I actually wouldn’t have held that against my cousin, if it weren’t for this.
When grandpa died, he didn’t come.
My brother, my fiancé, and I were there for the whole process.
We took time off work to help his wife and daughters, while processing our own grief.
Her grandma begged him to come, but he didn’t
I overheard a phone call where this 80-year-old woman who had done everything for him asked him with tears to come be with her.
She bailed him out of jail, took him in when his parents abandoned him in high school, and gave him anything he needed.
And yet, he wouldn’t come.
Now, both she and her fiancé agree not to invite him to the wedding.
My fiancé is very against inviting him to the wedding.
In his words, “If he doesn’t want to be a part of this family, he doesn’t have to. If he won’t cry with us, he doesn’t get to laugh with us.”
I am inclined to agree.
But she knows that it will cause further tension among her mom, aunt, and grandmother.
The problem is that if I don’t invite him, the damage to my mother’s already fragile family unit might be irreparable.
My aunt will never forgive me or her for not making me invite him.
And grandma will be devastated that I don’t want my cousin there.
The truth is, even if I invite him, he likely won’t come, so I might be creating an issue where there doesn’t need to be one.
WIBTA if I just didn’t invite him?
Whoa! What a complicated situation. Let’s find out what others have to say about this on Reddit.
Short and straight to the point.
Here’s an honest opinion from this user.
While this person gives an idea of what they can do.
I wouldn’t invite him either, says this person.
Finally, this person shares their personal thoughts on the matter.
This seems to be the perfect time to cut toxic people out of your life.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.
