Bailing out a loved one is never an easy decision, especially when there’s a history of substance abuse and questionable choices involved.
But what if your parent once bailed you out of a tough spot and is asking you to return the favor? Would you do so out of obligation? Or would you refuse, hoping a little tough love might lead to lasting changes?
In this story, one person grapples with a difficult choice about helping their father. Here’s what happened.
My Dad lives in AZ, and he just got arrested on some warrants for 2 misdemeanor shoplifting charges and a failure to appear in court. He has two $1,500 bonds and is asking me to bail him out and put up $300 on the bonds.
He has court on 12/3 and will more than likely be released then. I can’t see why they would hold him longer over minor charges. But I’m not from Arizona, so I don’t know the court systems there. I have the money; it’s not the issue. I just don’t really want to, especially if he’s going to get out in less than a week’s time.
A little background: My Dad bailed me out of jail about 13 years ago and put up a couple of grand, which makes me kind of feel obligated to return the favor, especially since it was less expensive.
Here’s my issue. My Dad has been on and off illicit substances for years now. He’s been down and out on his luck lately and borrowing lots of money from family with promises to pay it back once he gets his workman’s comp settlement.
He thinks sobering up in jail is the best option for his dad.
I’m pretty sure he’s actively using right now and is probably a main driver on why he wants to get bailed out. But I would rather him just spend a couple of days in there, sober up a bit, and maybe learn a lesson to stop doing irresponsible things.
He’s been in contact with my sister because she had the same number her whole life, and he has it memorized. She called me relaying all the info, I ultimately decided to say no.
I feel bad because she’s gonna have to hear him get all mad and upset over it. I already know him. He’s going to be mad once he hears and will likely bring up how he bailed me out in the past.
I did mention, that IF they don’t release him on the 3rd, I will bail him out then. But pretty sure he will get released.
AITA?
Wow! That’s a tough decision because it’s easy to see both sides of this.
Let’s see how the folks over at Reddit feel about the decision not to bail him out.
The sister doesn’t have to answer the phone, and a few days may help.
This person suggests bailing him out to repay the debt.
Here’s something to think about.
As this comment points out, a holiday delays the process, so it’s better to wait.
The dad needs help with his addiction.
If staying in jail for a few extra days means he can’t access drugs, then that’s the best place for him.
If you liked that post, check out this post about a woman who tracked down a contractor who tried to vanish without a trace.
