Sharing a home means making decisions together, especially when it comes to trust and privacy.
But what happens when one partner gives a spare key to someone the other doesn’t trust? Is it a practical choice or a breach of boundaries? And does adding more keys later make things better or worse?
In the following story, one man faces this very decision, and what he does leaves his partner upset.
Here’s how it all unfolded.
I (M) and my girlfriend of 3 years moved in together into our new apartment.
I wanted to give our spare key to my sister, who lives closer to us than her parents, who live in another city. I reasoned that a spare key is for emergencies, and it’d be more logical to give it to someone who lives closer, like my sister.
My GF didn’t agree with me because my sister doesn’t like her much, so she isn’t comfortable with her having easy access to our apartment.
Also, she had the spare to our previous apartment and had used it without our permission. But, later, she did tell us that she’d be crashing there for an hour or so because she felt carsick.
Here’s where he messed up.
I thought it was fine, and my gf didn’t say anything, so I assumed that she was okay with it. But she has been bringing it up lately.
I’d like to clarify that my sister has done that only once, and I still think that it was fine; she wasn’t feeling well.
Anyway, giving a spare wasn’t a big deal, so I gave it to my sister and also made a duplicate for her parents.
My GF wasn’t thrilled with my action and said that I should have told her beforehand.
He felt it was best for everyone to have a key.
While I admit I goofed for not telling her about the duplicate. I’ve apologized for that.
Again, I reasoned that a spare key should be given to someone living closer to us. And if she wants to, then we can give another to a friend.
But she’s still mad, and she is giving me the cold shoulders.
I think this was an unnecessary argument, and it’s a win-win situation; everyone’s getting a key.
AITA?
Eek! It’s easy to see both sides of this, but he probably should’ve waited.
Let’s check out what Reddit readers have to say about what he did.
As this comment points out, the spare key is for their emergency, not the sister’s.
He did disregard her wishes completely.
According to this person, the GF should be comfortable in her own home.
This person doesn’t see it as a win-win.
They needed to agree before anything else.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.
